Financial abuse is a form of emotional spousal abuse that feeds it power from dependency. Sadly, it is a form of abuse rarely mentioned, which is one of the reasons I created Miss Fiercely Independent. I have witness financial abuse, as well as experienced it myself, and it usually manifests itself in together with emotional abuse. If you are a spouse who is dependent on your spouse’s income, you open the door for a potential financial abuse, if you have not had an open conversation about the subject with him or her. While this does not happen only to women, it happens primarily to women.
Here are some signs of financial abuse:
1. He controls every penny of your spending. Even if only one spouse works outside of the home, it is important to note that it is not the working spouse’s right to control every penny of the household income. This is a controlling behavior, that ranges from making one feel like a child to having to justify everyday needs.
2. He controls what job you are allowed to have and how much you are allowed to work. If your spouse decides which career you should take, even if it is not one you would choose for yourself, it is a form of financial abuse.
3. He sabotages your higher education. This can manifest itself by not providing needed transportation to courses,
to not respecting study time. Making sure that you can not better yourself is a form of control.
4. He threatens to quit working or threatens to take on a lesser paying job, that will not cover your families basic
5. All bank accounts are in his name only. Not only does that leave you without an access to income without his consent, it also leaves you without the possibility to save for your own retirement.
While I am not saying that every relationship of co-dependency will end up in a financial abusive situation, I believe that the lack of financial co-dependency will prevent any possibility of financial abuse.
If you do find yourself in a financially abusive relationship, it is time to find a way out. One way to find a way out
is by creating an income source for yourself. Passive income sources can create a financial stream for you, which you
can create from your home while taking care of the other responsibilities placed upon you (I raised and homeschooled two children during this time, while growing my own online income streams).
Be on the look out for threats that are directed toward you, toward your children, or toward any future potential
spouses. These can be indications, that the relationship can turn into a more physically violent one, and you should start to be prepared to leave.
A word of caution: I always want to advise you, if you feel like you are under any physical threat, that you always clear your computer’s browser history and cookies, after searching for any kind of information related to making money online, or how to get away. Do not put yourself in unnecessary danger!
Fiercely Independent Blessings!